Posted in Personal

Tacit turn

“Change is inevitable, change is constant.” —Benjamin Deisraeli

I’ve long been looking for answers as to why people change course in life, researching the factors that could possibly affect the transformation. I find it weird to know that those people who I interviewed with don’t know the answer. This makes me think that this change must be something that’s hard to fathom. I don’t think that there is no reason to this, as I always believe, there is a reason for everything.

Why did you change?

I often hear this question thrown back at me. It makes me rethink and ask myself, why did I really change? For what? Was it really my decision, or something else? What’s the purpose of doing this? What’s my gain? Too many questions popped up in my head but no answer. I’m confused. I feel my head is going to burst with all the thoughts. It’s like I suddenly got lost in another dimension nowhere to find my way home.

It’s my fear to realize that I myself don’t know the answer either. Maybe I know, I just can’t express it or to say it in a manner that an ordinary human being could understand. I always have this impression that I’m an alien because everything I say is hard to understand. I have to repeat or paraphrase.

I asked my friends this question. I’m surprised they all have something in common. They say it’s their decision to change. But what drives them to decide such? I figured it out but it’s yet too early to conclude.

A look back in the past

I’m only reminded of my past, of the decisions I made before. I remember I decided to be serious in my studies because I saw my family living in poverty. That prompts me to want to help them when the time comes. I finished high school because that’s what was expected of me and I didn’t want to hear bad comments from my peers. I took Computer Science because I thought it’s cool. I stopped studying because the school I was enrolled in failed to fulfill its mission. I got a job because I need to learn and make money. I left our home because I wanted to be independent.

Despite all these, I’m still not satisfied. I’m still looking for something that will “hit me right on the spot”.

It’s the influence

Base on interviews with friends and asking myself, I found out the factor that drives them to decide to change is an outside force. A force strong and powerful enough to transform a caterpillar into a gorgeous butterfly. And this force is called influence. Yes. The influence.

We encounter this everyday, when we connect to the nature, when we interact with people, when we watch TV, when we listen to the radio, when we browse our social media, when we go out of the house. It’s literally everywhere.

We see other peoples’ lives, we look up to them. We want to become someone. We soul search. Then we decide– is the process of transformation.

The tacit turn

I don’t refer to the term that means reserved or uncommunicative in speech. It’s the word tacit which means unannounced and turn which means change in direction. Put them together will give the new meaning, unannounced change.

It’s the mystery of the organic and beautiful process of  human’s life-changing experiences.

“There is incredible power in the arts to inspire and influence.”  —-Julie Taymor

Skewed

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Author:

An art enthusiast and blogger. Writes about starting and managing small business or whatever she thinks she can write about.

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